A beautiful shift occurred recently for me in the area of love.

I have long been aware of a special place in my psyche, a tender space reserved for my sweet heart. When I am in relationship, my partner fills this space, and I feel wonderful. Her Divine Feminine balances my Divine Masculine and creates feelings of comfort and completeness. I associate these feelings with Love and Divine Partnership. Having this connection seems an integral part of my spiritual evolution and search for greater happiness.

Over the years, I have spent many hours, days, weeks, and even months seeking to fill “my sweet heart” space so I can experience these blissful feelings.  Many times, the desire to fill this space was fueled by a strong sense of longing — the empty feeling that invariable crept in when I was not in relationship.  Other times, I wanted to fill this space to relieve feelings of pain or loss from a recent separation. Even in emotionally peaceful times, the pull to fill this space has been strong. 

My search to find my sweet heart has taken many forms.  I have taken workshops, read books, created elaborate lists, visualized my desired partner, and called upon my guides and Spirit for assistance. These techniques worked well to bring new relationships into my life, yet when each relationship ended, I was left with the uncomfortable feeling of longing and being incomplete.

Within the past months, the search for my sweet heart has unexpectedly turned inward. Rather than searching for the Divine Feminine in another, I sought for and nurtured it inside myself. I started treating myself in the loving way that I would treat a beloved partner and in the way I would like my loving partner to treat me. This wasn’t a conscious decision, but something that simply happened naturally.

One evening as I headed for bed, I noticed my dirty dinner dishes were still in the kitchen sink. In my fatigued state, I thought “I’ll clean those in the morning.” This thought was answered immediately with the question “Would I want my sweet heart to start her day with finding my dirty dishes?”  I paused and thought “Of course not!” My thought was answered with another question, “Then why would I want my day to start that way?”  I smiled, quickly washed the dishes, and headed to bed with a sense of amusement and happiness. I could see myself waking in the morning, walking through the kitchen feeling peaceful and relaxed, not even remembering that I’d done this little act of kindness for myself. I felt great joy within, the joy of knowing I was taking care of myself in this way.

Similar thoughts, actions, and feelings began popping up all around me. Previously mundane daily events have became tiny acts of self love. I brush my teeth because I love myself, not because I fear tooth decay or feel obligated to take care of myself. I turn on my bedroom salt lamp because I love myself and feel joy in knowing that I will breath cleaner air when I return. I do my laundry because I love myself and look forward to the happiness of choosing my favorite shirts from the closet. Suddenly, there seemed to be an endless supply of opportunities to love myself.

The joy I have felt with the increased giving and receiving of love has been incredible. And with it, the strong feelings of longing for a relationship have faded and disappeared.  As I love myself more fully, my own Divine Feminine balances my Divine Masculine, and I feel complete. I feel happy and peaceful inside. I look forward to loving relationship, yet I am content with the natural flow that Spirit brings me.

Only in retrospect did I realize that I filled that special place for “my sweet heart” with exactly that — the sweetness of my own heart — literally “my sweet heart.”

by Jeffrey Allen